Miranda
by ButterflyTango
Summary: Hinny is destined to fail, and we all know it, so why not bring it down with a little comedy?


**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is the supreme goddess of writing and she owns anything you recognize. I'm pretty sure I only own the story line. Takes place during 'Year 8'.  
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_Dear Miranda,_

_When can I see you again? Hopefully before the summer is over. I miss you! I still haven't found the right time to break up with Ginny, though. She was absolutely devastated when you called and asked for me. She threatened to kill you until I had Ron perform an 'Unbreakable Swear' where I said nothing was happening between us. That got me out of that mess, considering that Ron needs eyeglasses and misread over half of the words for the spell from the book.  
So how are you? I hope that you are well and forgive me for not telling Ginny about us yet. I send this with all my love!  
Forever yours,  
Harry_

This didn't settle well with Ginny. No, this didn't settle well with her at all. Harry never suspected that she would intercept his mail. He underestimated sweet, innocent little Ginny. She was a joke to him. He toyed with her feelings and she hated him for it. One morning, she decided to confront him with her findings.

"Hello, Harry," She said, feigning innocence, as she stood in the hallway, leaning up against the wall, hands behind her back.

"Uh..hi, Gin," He seemed a bit nervous. Smart boy.

"I have a surprise for you, Harry." Now he was really scared. He smiled a very fake, very short-lived smile as she held up the letter. He immediately began trying to dig himself out.

"It's not what it looks like, Gin. Er, I was just-" He tried, but Ginny cut him off coldly.

"You were just _what_?" She shouted angrily, throwing her hands in the air.

"Um..." Harry sighed after a moment. "I love her."

"What?" That wouldn't do at all. Hot, angry tears filled her eyes.

"Please, don't cry, Gin. It never would have worked between us anyway!" He burst out, then suddenly realized that he was lying to himself.

The look in her eye just sent him over the edge with a stunningly powerful wave of guilt. She looked like a forlorn little puppy. Tears were flowing down her face. She bit her lip and tried to say something, but it turned into a sob, and she suddenly felt dizzy with sadness. All the was anger drained out of her. She just closed her eyes and slid to the floor, arms around her knees, sobbing quietly. He stood there and wondered if she would ever compose herself.

Ron strolled in and took in the sight before him. Ginny was curled into a ball on the floor, crying, and Harry stood a few feet away, chewing his lip and looking nervous and guilty. He knew it. Harry had broken up with her! Again! The nerve! Ginny was so tough, Ron had to wonder what Harry had said to do this to her. Suddenly, he felt a surge of anger. Best friend or not, Harry didn't get to do this to Ron's little sister. Ron walked right up and second-guessed himself.

"What are you doing..?" Harry asked nervously, unknowingly watching Ron have a little argument with himself. Then, Ron made his decision. Harry saw a blur of color, and then there was pain in his jaw. Ron stood over Harry's unmoving form. _Now what?_ He wondered idly to himself. Then, Hermione burst in and saved the day from awkwardness. "Uhhh..." Harry moaned, rubbing his jaw and sitting up. "Ron you twat! You punched me out!" Hermione just glared. "Hermione, did you see that! That little ginger moron punched. Me. Out!" He finished, and then there was another blur and some more pain, except this time, Harry was still conscious, the pain was sharp, and it was Hermione who dealt the blow. "OW! Holy crap Hermione! You slapped me!" Hermione just glared.

"You ditched Ginny!" Ron yelled. Ginny was silent in her corner. Harry got up and walked up to Ron, getting in his face.

"No, she found some stupid letter and found out I was cheating!" Harry screamed. _Oh shit, _a tiny voice inside his head noted. _That's not better..._

_Chirp, Chirp, Chirp_

"WTF?" Ron asked, looking around.

"It's the crickets..." Harry said in a creepy whisper. "They're back!"

"What." Hermione ignored this. "And where is this..." She seemed to choke on the word. "Letter?" Ginny lifted her head to reveal her tear streaked face. Holding up a shaking hand, she gave Hermione the letter. "It's addressed to... Harry My Sweet?" Harry's face turned red. "From... What the... This name is like three miles long!"

"What?" Now Ron was curious. He walked over there and read the envelope. "Merlin's saggy left-"

"RON." Hermione interrupted. "It's from Miranda Carmelita Juanita Ariana Alexis Andrea Austevedo Garcia Gamboa Ramirez Chavez..." She stopped for a breath, "...Sanchez Valenzuela Arredondo Esparza Mendez Calliano Castro Aguilar Cruz Diaz Delgado..." Another breath "... Fernandez Gomez Gutierrez Hernandez Lopez." Every jaw in the room hit the floor.

"Ah..." Harry sighed, staring at the ceiling. "My little Miranda Carmelita Juanita Ariana Alexis Andrea Austevedo Garcia Gamboa Ramirez Chavez Sanchez Valenzuela Arredondo Esparza Mendez Calliano Castro Aguilar Cruz Diaz Delgado Fernandez Gomez Gutierrez Hernandez Lopez. " He didn't even stop for a breath. That's how fast he said it.

Ginny began to cry. "He...he...memorized...it!" She said in between loud sobs.

"I memorized your name too!" Harry said, hoping to dig himself out. "Ginavera Molly Weasley!"

"You pronounced it wrong," Hermoine whispered.

"..." Ron said quietly.

"I HATE YOU!" Ginny screamed, causing Harry to jump. He walked over to her, a pleading look in his eyes, and suddenly, he was lost in the taste of her lips. It was the sweetest kiss she had ever given him. When it was over, Harry leaned in for another, but she pushed him away and whispered something in his ear and walked off. Harry bowed his head and allowed one tear to hit the floor. Then, he gathered himself up and started toward the door. Hermione looked at Ron. Ron looked at Hermione. Both shrugged.

"Wait," Ron stopped him. "What'd she say?"

"She said that was goodbye."


End file.
